Couples Counseling
Romantic partnerships are the greatest source of support, love, and encouragement that adults can experience. Sometimes our partnerships can hit a bump in the road and may need some help to get back on track.
You have a really great relationship. But he has trauma in his past that he has not worked through and you have concerns about his well being. He has tried medication but always stops taking it and it’s not good. It causes problems in the relationship to the point that you want to leave, but you still want to be supportive and help him get the help that he needs.
Would changes make a difference? Can things go back to the way they were and you would want to stay? This is a really stressful dynamic in your relationship and you must be frustrated.
What are your personal goals for the relationship? How can we work together in therapy to help get things where they are good?
This may be a tough question to answer right now because the relationship is so fluctuating. As your therapist I will help you understand the concerns and how to create the goals to work towards the future.
We all want to feel supported and loved and we want our partner to feel the same way. However, even with the best of intentions, many times we cannot communicate to each other in a way that leaves both partners feeling like they have been heard and understood. Our intentions get lost in frustration, anger, sadness, or even numbness. Communication for couples can be complicated, but it doesn’t have to be. You can learn how to really hear your partner and help them really hear you by improving your communication skills as a team.
The stressors of everyday life can put a huge strain on a relationship. Severe stressors like intimacy issues, lack of trust, miscommunication, or infidelity can significantly impact the relationship. When problems go unaddressed and unresolved, partners can feel helpless, hopeless, or having feelings of resentment, guilt, or shame. Life can be messy and there is no one way to handle the countless challenges you and your partner may face during your life together. Regardless, those challenges will come, so you must have an action plan for dealing with them when they do. The impact of the current health crisis is a stark reminder of the need to reinforce our relationships for when life presents obstacles. We can help you and your partner develop new tools for your toolkit and fresh strategies for tackling life’s many curveballs head-on as a team.
Couples or relationship counseling helps build stronger, more resilient relationships. You can learn how to manage conflict, improve communication skills, and increase intimacy. We can help you get on the same page with your partner through developing skills together such as:
Identifying shared values and goals and finding the joy of being in a loving, long-term relationship
Recognizing and changing unhealthy relational patterns and cycles and decreasing power struggles
Discovering communication tools that can help increase positive patterns
Finding an effective and more responsive and respectful way to approach challenges
Managing conflict and engaging in repairs that feel restorative and rejuvenating
Improving problem solving and decision-making skills through more open and effective communication
Learning how to have better outcomes from disagreements
Exploring how to communicate vulnerable emotions and feel more connected
Fostering understanding and connection to keep your emotional and physical interactions fresh
Accessing the strengths of the relationship that can help leverage your relationship into transformation
Developing skillful ways to relating to each other that will help your relationship security
Finding ways to build or rebuild safety and trust in your relationship and strengthen your connection to each other
Increasing skills to move past judgment, blame, and defensiveness
Cultivating interests outside of the relationship through your passions, friends, and work to build resilience and so you can bring your interests to the table and share with each other
We can also help with:
Increasing intimacy
Addressing infidelity
Navigating transitions
Improving parenting
Planning for the future
Are you or your partner caring for an aging parent?
You are at that age where one of you is caring for a parent which takes time away from your household and marriage. Maybe it’s even more complicated and you also have kids to raise at home so you are a sandwich generation. You’ve noticed that you no longer talk about the basic things let alone the really important things. Mistrust is building because you are no longer aligned in how you want to handle situations. Someone doesn’t follow through in the marriage the way they say they will. This isn’t a big deal once or twice but when it keeps happening and you don’t come to a resolution it just keeps getting worse.
What happens if you have a blended family and communication difficulties?
You have a blended family, you're the step-mom and you see your husband and his son struggling in their relationship. You want to be supportive to both sides but also need to find BALANCE. You are constantly trying to support your husband and be a maternal figure to your step-child. You don’t want to replace their mother, but you can’t be their friend either. How do you help make peace in the home while also building your marriage that may be getting more rocky with these struggles?
Do you and your partner feel like your relationship is at a standstill?
You and your partner continually have the same argument triggered by the same thing over and over again. You both feel like you are not being heard and your fuses are getting shorter and shorter. Both of you dig in on your stance and it is getting more and more difficult to find common ground, positives in the relationship or even find room for forgiveness. It is causing you to drift apart. You need help with learning to understand each other and feel empowered to communicate better so that small conflicts don’t explode into bigger ones.
Are you and your spouse newly empty nesters?
You are at the beginning of a transition in your relationship and need extra guidance and support. You’ve spent years together raising a family and now all of your children are grown and you suddenly find yourselves alone with each other and you’re struggling with everyday conversations or intimacy It can be a challenge when you used to have a busy household and now it is calm and quiet. You need help figuring out how to rediscover each other, reconnect in a new way or even planning for what’s next for your lives.
Has your relationship had struggles with indiscretions and sneaking around?
This may be anything from sexual infidelity to an emotional affair or even small lies about a purchase or smoking when you’ve told your partner you were quitting. These everyday breaches of trust can lead to disappointment, resentment, and lack of faith in the foundation of your relationship. Taking steps towards learning to trust again can make you feel vulnerable and maybe even scared. Owning up to indiscretions and putting forth a diligent effort to demonstrate actions and emotions to show you are worthy of trust can be challenging and may leave you feeling like you’re under a microscope. You need help with being open and honest in acknowledging the issues and rebuilding trust, reconnecting, and rekindling intimacy.
Are things in your relationship going well?
Maybe you both have a desire to maintain that momentum. Even healthy relationships may benefit from counseling before stresses and strains begin to fully manifest themselves. You both can benefit from strengthening your communication and connection with each other. Couples counseling can have a positive impact even before any partnership hits a crisis point by addressing issues that may be bubbling under the surface through building on the strong foundation you already have with each other.
Our approach is warm, interactive, and practical which allows us to focus on the short-term results so that you can quickly experience more ease and connection with your partner. We encourage you to explore and process the relationship and will promote intimacy and connection between you and your partner. You will both be able to express yourselves in a safe environment with a trusted and supportive professional. You’ll learn how to communicate your feelings and needs with each other. We will help you and your partner each get more of what you each want from your relationship.
Whatever it is going on in your relationship, we can help. We have experience in supporting couples of all genders and orientations in finding what they are seeking in their relationships.
We look forward to providing you with the support you need to revitalize your relationship.